Relationships are a wonderful part of the human existence: You create intimate emotional and physical bonds with another human being, and you learn to let yourself grow within that relationship. Unfortunately, not all relationships end up lasting as long as we want them to.
No matter who initiates a breakup, and no matter how long the relationship lasted, it can cause significant emotional stress in a person’s life. It may sound dramatic, but we grieve the loss of a relationship in the same way we grieve the loss of a loved one. While they may be alive and well, you are still losing an important connection with someone, and you are dealing with the loss of all the potential and what could have been.
At the time it seems almost impossible to get through the thick of it all, but a lot of people have been there and have lived to tell about it — and I promise you will, too. Just take the time you need, and take care of yourself. Self-love is never selfish.
Being Broken Up With…
When you get “dumped” (let’s face it, there’s no pretty way of putting it), it may feel like someone knocked the wind out of you. Or, it could leave you speechless and feeling like you’ve just swallowed your tongue. Obviously, each circumstance of each individual breakup will vary, as well as variations on the emotions experienced by each person. However, I feel it’s pretty safe to assume that most people initially feel sad or angry knowing that everything in which they have just invested all of that time and love is over.
Whether you were cheated on or the spark they had felt went out, being let go is a difficult thing to handle. But don’t fret, your feelings are fleeting. As time passes you will feel better, and you will learn to love (or at least date) once again; but, how much time exactly depends on the way you handle your breakup and whether or not you want to move on and let go.
Breaking Up With Someone Else…
There’s this old song called “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do,” and, man, they were not kidding. Deciding to end a relationship is not always as clean of a decision as we would hope. A lot of times, there is a lot of good stuff that you love about someone, and you tend to feel guilty about your reasons for deciding not to stay. It’s extremely important to remember that a self-motivated decision for a breakup — like going away to college or moving to start a new job — is not a selfish reason to end it with someone.
Never feel bad if your feelings change, or if something isn’t working for you anymore. No decision like that is easy, and no one has the right to make you feel guilty for making the life choices that you think are best for yourself. If you do decide to break up with your significant other, try to keep their emotions in mind.
Except for the particular instance of a long distance relationship, a breakup should always be done face to face. It allows for better communication — especially with cues such as body language or tone of voice — and it also shows respect and sensitivity.
While you may want to continue texting them or continue having them in your life after the breakup, they may need an adjustment period to figure it all out. If you end on a clean break under good terms, it’s entirely possible to end up friends once again.