We never know when it is going to hit us, the feeling of what people like to call “love,” and nobody ever warned us about it. In school they teach us a bunch of things we might need for our future, but what about reality? What about real feelings that will make us feel like we are living in a roller coaster every single day of our lives? They never taught me that. No one has ever told me what should I do when I first fall in love with someone; or how to cure myself when I experience my first heartbreak…. I never knew how to face any of that.
This is why I am now sitting on the floor and thinking of a way to let the tears get away from me, to try not to lose control and learn by my own how to prepare myself for this. What can you do when the fall is the thing that is breaking you? When all there is left to do is to try to find a way to figure out how to face both of them, falling and breaking, together. I know I cannot find a way. I know I cannot escape this. The avalanche is all over me already, and all I have learnt by now is that when you let the word “love” get into you, there is nothing you can do to get it out anymore. It stays there; it will stay for the rest of your life one way or another. We can run from it, and we can try to hide as far away as possible, but none of that is ever going to separate us from it. Love always comes back; it is unstoppable. Love is what keep us alive.
You will get to the point when all the emotions growing within you will be chaos, but that is all right. You are not alone in this; I am in there too. Every human being is trapped in their own emotional chaos. So do not ever think that you are going to be prepared for it, that somebody is going to teach you how to deal with it or how to stop the pain that it will bring you; it won’t happen. You are the only one who can have the strength to save yourself from the avalanche. And it is coming.