Psst! Hey, Carrie.
I see you there. Stop hiding behind the locker corridors waiting for the bell to ring. You have to go to class ‘cause the vice principle already saw you, and he will catch up with you. Then he will attempt and fail at contacting your loving but MIA mom or your wanderlust dad, and then there will be detention again. You don’t care, of course; ditching detention is the same as ditching class. So what, right? Even though you have no respect for the school’s rules, or the government for that matter, I know you are worried about that little thing called your math and science grade. Why worry about it? So, you are going to fail the class. Guess what! There are much more important things to think about. Next year, beginning of sophomore year, just before your 16th birthday, you are going to take and pass your GED and be done with high school altogether anyway! I know you are happy to hear that. You weren’t going to your classes anyway, so I figured I ought to let you know — just to ease your worried mind some.
Realize this, smarty-pants, as you sit alone on the bleachers after school, studying the second hand as it ticks by on the watch your momma put on your wrist last summer at the fair. As you are trying to figure out where you are going to sleep any given night. You need to understand that a year from now you will be on an adventure in your Volkswagen van with your wonderful, adorable, protective German Shepard, Tommy. You two will be cruisin’ from state to state, learning and growing. You will be working and making money, snapping a flat nose screwdriver against the starter solenoid and battery to get that engine roaring to life as you loosely swipe wild, long hair out of your face, tuck it behind your ear and head out on the highway once again on another adventure. Yours has not been a conventional life, and you have been handed … nothing. So be proud of yourself and all you do.
Right now, though, there you are, about to cry because you miss your mom, because you miss your dad and sister too. You feel as alone as a stray dog must feel on an isolated, old, country dirt road in the middle of nowhere with nothing but a roaring wind pushing against your back and foreboding grey clouds before you. So, go ahead and cry ‘cause it’s healthy to cry. But don’t cry in vain. Know that the turn of events that are about to take place for you are going to make you even more resilient and stronger than you already are. And don’t worry. Your best friend’s parents: they love you, and you can stay at their house again tonight. It’s been a while since that last bell rang. The schoolyard is empty, and you’re lookin’ around trying like mad to make some sense of it all.
The immaturity of class mates in high school has definitely been aggravating to you and, knowing you, you have had it with pretending to be like the rest because it doesn’t work. You are nothing like the rest, and get used to that, too, because that doesn’t change at all. You will have friends who will come and go because you, dear, come and go; the nomad spirit that drives you doesn’t cease until you have your own daughter and decide to give her what you didn’t have: stability and a safe home. Yes! You have a wonderful daughter who lights up your life every day.
Another thing you need to be aware of is that you will return to school. I know, you can hardly believe you would do that to yourself! But you do! You actually go to a few different local universities, become involved in distance learning; you score well and maintain an excellent GPA. Yeah, you! So, don’t worry about high school. Your ingenuity is what guides you, and you find a way through, and you make this world work for you. I can see you smirking that sideways glance at the words I am tossing out to ya, but you have to believe me, there are college degrees in your future, kid, so don’t be so worried about high school.
Your future is much brighter than your past, so push on and don’t give up. Don’t for a moment begin to think that you will stay in the dark alleyways of your existence forever, even though at times it feels like an eternity in which you idle there in mourning.
When it all feels like too much — and it’s more than the issue of your car that is crashed, or your all-male housemates’ disrespect and sexual advances. When it is much more than these trifling matters and your health is at risk, and it feels like death is the only solution, hold on and remember this: You are meant to succeed, and not only will you help yourself, you will help others in their paths. Keep looking forward and maintain the dream. So, little clever wanderer, travel on, migrate, sit still for a while. Do it all knowing that you are exactly where you are meant to be, doing just what the universe intends you to do. Continue to be resourceful and imaginative, and you will thrive.