Some days I am all girl
(By which I mean
my personality
is made up more of
what society determines
as girly)
I am nail polish and all
I listen to is
Taylor Swift while
reading some chick flick
made to convince teenage girls
that they can be manic pixie dream girls too
I giggle and say
like um you know
And I am all girl.
Some days I am less girl
and more anger
more bitch
More I speak so loud it
makes you uncomfortable
More fierce and less apologetic
My sentences are all declarative and I do not
attach question marks to my statements
Some days I am more girl
but a bit angry
A bit done with this world
And every day
whether I am all girl or some bitch or a mixture
I try to explain what
more girl feels like
I try to explain
how some bitch is okay
And how I really need a different word to get
my message across because bitch
is not okay
But sometimes
it’s just tiring, you know
Like, I try to explain
but they’re not really listening
And um, I don’t feel
comfortable around them
for those minutes
Sometimes
It’s like I am
being surrounded by noise
and it’s all mine
Sometimes
it’s like I am standing in their place
with their defense mechanisms
And then, my voice
is like, white noise.