Dear Past Me,
For you, everything is beginning. You are 14, you don’t know anyone. Your sister still lives at home, and you are happy; you are excited.
For me, everything is ending. I am 17. I have friends who I care about. I have 3 years of experiences on you. They are not all pleasant.
I am sorry for the things you will go through. I am sorry you have to feel pain, and I am sorry that it will take time for high school to be better than middle school.
I wish you had not lost yourself. I wish we were not afraid. I wish we had let ourselves have fun. I wish we didn’t care so much what other people thought. I wish we remembered that no one is as concerned with us as they are with themselves. I hope I will not forget in the future.
I am glad you are still able to smile. I am glad you have memories that have not yet been washed away by the sad and the hurt. I am glad you remember to laugh. I am glad you are able to get back up again.
There will be things you want to hide. There will be things you are forced to share before you are ready. These things still hurt, but remember that you are able to get back up. You are able to smile again. Sometimes I need to remember that too.
I know that, sometimes, we let our fears get in the way of our happiness. I am working on that. Know that you are talented, that is what I’m trying to remember as I am applying to college. You will not always get what you want, but you will be okay. It gets better, I think.
You will fall in love, and you will be afraid to fall out of love. Know that he loves you. Know that fighting doesn’t mean you love each other less. Know that you are lucky to have him, but he isn’t everything. I try to remember that too. I try to remember that if it is meant o be, we will find our way back to each other in the end.
Remember to smile. Remember to laugh. Remember to take chances. Remember not to judge people too hard on first glance. And remember that you will be okay and you are capable of happiness.