Count your calories and record what you eat every day; you should be eating 6 servings of fruit and vegetables for optimal health; you should exercise at least 3 times a week, the last thing you want is to get fat; this is how you operate a treadmill, now buy a gym membership; don’t even look at ice cream, I don’t care if it’s your favorite; why didn’t you eat a salad, are you bent on becoming fat? This is how to pick the most nutritional lettuce leaves; you should do more cardio, burn off the ghosts of donuts past, study pictures of female celebrities for inspiration; Cameron Diaz looks great, obviously Hollywood is the land of self-control; this is how you lift weights, let’s tone up that flabby body because we don’t want men thinking you’re disgusting; you want to look good naked or they won’t want you. Never eat out at restaurants, who knows what those bastards put in your food; you should lift more weights, you look like you’re getting weak, you’re mentally weak but the least you could do is look strong on the outside; hunger is for the feeble-minded, exercise self-control to prove you’re powerful after all. This is how you build yourself a body like Jillian Michaels; you can only have a cheeseburger without the bun, you’re lucky I’m even letting you eat a cheeseburger at all because you’re fat, Keira Knightley looks happy, you won’t be happy unless you look like her; what’s wrong with you, why are you not eating your 6 servings of fruits and vegetables, 6 servings of grains, 3 servings of dairy, and 2 servings of protein a day, you need to eat more; you’re disgusting, stop eating all the time, this is how you skip lunch because you disobeyed the rules; always step on the scale to make sure you’re not getting fat and remember the most horrible crime of all is not loving yourself; do you think Keira Knightley got where she is today by not loving herself?