This is a response to Leena Normington’s recent YouTube video called “Spinster Girl.” Do yourself a serious favor and check it out.
What does it mean to be alone? Does it mean you’re underprivileged? Does it mean you’re not good enough? Does it mean you don’t deserve attention? Because we live in a society where everything is about what you “deserve.” A common pop culture phrase is “Because you’re worth it.” But what specifically are you worth? Or, to put it more precisely: How much are you worth? What is the scale, and where am I on that scale?
They say: You need to lose some weight. You need to be more open. You need to be more social.
I hear: You need to be someone else, and then you won’t be lonely anymore.
I am single, which means that in this society, I am someone who should be matched up with something. I am the one who my “not-alone” friends don’t speak about — or begrudgingly speak about — relationships in front of. Being alone in our world sadly equals being sad, desperate, depressed, and probably a cat lady. The thing is: I am alone, and I’m not sad or desperate, and I do not have any pets. My life does not evolve around finally finding myself a boyfriend. In fact, my life is about a lot of other things.
What I’ve found is that being alone is a privilege. Being alone means you can examine yourself. You can get to know yourself better. You can sing out loud in your kitchen. You can learn to accept yourself. You can learn to live with yourself.
Being alone is an adventure. Being alone is fun! It means that your partner in crime is the one person who understands you the best in your life: Yourself. It does not mean four lonely walls, one TV, and lot of tissues. It means friends, it means books, it means travelling, and it means constantly changing you. Being alone taught me bravery, taught me honesty, and showed me possibilities. I’m brave because I’m facing the world on my own. I’m honest, and that is scary, because being honest with yourself is difficult. I’m able to acknowledge that I’m in search of myself and that I’m not yet a completely formed thing. I learn something new every day. For me, being alone does not mean a closing of doors. For me, it means opening the door to a whole new world full of people and possibilities. I can spend time with my friends, I can do absolutely nothing for a whole day or even for a week, or I can go to a movie alone and eat the whole box of popcorn by myself.
Am I afraid that I will end up alone for my whole life? Sometimes. But then I remember that even if that’s the case, me, myself, and I would have a great party every day because I’m never truly alone.
I am full of possibilities. My life is colorful and so am I.