Let’s be honest here —
I am not the girl men fall in love with.
I am the girl that men want to fuck.
I am a conquest. A prize. A show.
I could count on five hundred fingers
the number of people that have professed,
“I like you. You’re different. You’re an interesting girl.”
Apparently I’m not fascinating enough for you
to want to hold for more than a one-night stand.
Once
as I finished swimming a sea of blankets
and got left stranded on the shore,
I asked myself:
What’s wrong with me?
What am I doing?
Am I not good enough for anybody?
And right before I could drown again,
the sun woke up and said,
“You are.
You are enough.
Forget the men whose hands have groped your hips
in search for answers to questions
you’ve never even heard of.
Do not settle for people who do not appreciate you,
who do not know how lucky they are.
Remember it is a privilege to be loved by you,
or even just
to be touched by you, and
the warmth of another body does not define your worth.
These men —
they think they can own you
with their drunken stares and roughened arms, but
I have circled the earth
a thousand times
to feed the light flowing inside your skin.
Do not waste it by illuminating those who
cannot even be bothered
to learn your last name.”
So that night when
the moon tried once more to pin me down,
I told him:
I am made of sunlight, crashing waves, and fireworks.
You think you can tame me
and cool my flesh?
I am the girl who plays with matches,
and trust me I play it well.
Lord knows I’ve walked through villages leaving
a pile of destruction in my wake.
My heart is a bushfire
and the next time you try to control me,
darling, make no mistake —
I will burst out and ravage you in flames.
I’ll
burn
you
to
the
ground.
(This isn’t a test.)
Sade Andria Zabala is a twenty-four-year-old Filipina surfer and nomad currently residing in Denmark. She has self-published one collection of poems called Coffee and Cigarettes and has appeared on literary sites/publications such as The Chapess Zine, Berlin Artparasites, The Thought Catalog, The Rising Phoenix Review, The Undertow Review, Grammarly, and more. The poem above is from her second book, War Songs, to be released September 8, 2015. In her spare time she likes to eat words and drink sunlight. You can reach her at SurfAndWrite.Tumblr.com.
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Cassoday Harder is a twenty-year-old photographer inspired by youth, femininity, and summer. View more of her work on Flickr or visit her website.