by Nicole Burton
I grow up fatherless
A brother who didn’t sign
Up for the role.
Another who took it willingly
But eventually went away,
How can I blame them.
When I was told
To blame me.
Isn’t that what you meant
When you told me:
I am too much like my mother
Who you couldn’t love.
I am too sensitive
When it was you who lacked a feeling.
I don’t forgive easily
Why was I supposed to?
Tell me.
How can you judge for who I’ve become
When you weren’t around to see
All the reasons why.
You three left.
Not a trace of guilt..
I swallowed your guilt, ate it so I wouldn’t starve.
Learned to swim, rather than float
No longer wait for your life raft
That was never coming.
So you do not get to tell me,
I am unloveable.
Too sensitive
Unforgiving.
When you left me to drown.
Instead of dying,
I became more, then you could ever be.
