There’s only one word to describe the empty hollow inside of your chest that springs tears into your eyes and the constant state of nothing you’re living in: heartbreak. Heartbreak, or maybe, perhaps, heartache. When the words you verbally express are just fragments of the thoughts hammering in your mind. Like, even though you’re walking, you don’t acknowledge the wind rushing through your hair or the sun spilling onto your eyelids.
A few weeks ago, you would be able to say that you’d stay up until 2 am just waiting for him to text back. But now, the second your head falls onto the pillow — I mean, you’re still awake, except there’s no more excitement and smiles glowing in the expression you wear. Foggy memories occupy your mind — the moment when you felt like your heart was about to explode replaying over and over and over again; you trying to think of the other possible ways the situation could have ended.
They always told you that you have the power to control your own life, to make your own decisions — that you have power. But when it comes down to it, nothing except their opinion matters in your mind, because you know that you don’t have them there with you to guide you through the everlasting eternal hell you’re battling.
I believe in you, though. I know that it’s hard, that it feels like you’re faking a smile even though every vein in your body is begging for release. They’re constantly on your mind. With every motion you make, you live with the inevitable fear that you’ll see them in front of you. But, trust me, it doesn’t last forever.
You will meet someone better. It’s hard to believe, I get it. But you are capable of just about anything. Don’t let them be the thing that stops you.
Remember that you are destined for greatness. I know it.
Christina Joseph is a young teenager who loves angsty punk bands and eating peanut butter cups. She is a professional binge-watcher of The Fosters and Teen Wolf at two in the morning. Along with thinking that Dylan O’Brien and Brendon Urie are some hot pieces of booty, she also is beginning her journey to becoming a travel journalist.
thank you for saying this. it made me feel better 🙂