Ask Annalise: Summer Dating

Q: Dear Annalise, me and this boy have been talking this summer, and I really like him, but we go to different schools. I am afraid that when school starts, we will stop talking. What should I do?

A: You have attained the coveted summer romance, but now fall is setting in. That really is the worst. I am sorry for you; I have been there. Relationships are really hard to keep up if you don’t see that person often, but that is not to say it is impossible to do. If you are just talking, something that may help it last is to put a label on it; that way you both know how each other feels, and you know it isn’t just playful flirting. It is less likely for him to move on to someone else if you are his girlfriend rather than if you are just the girl he flirted with over the summer.

Also, be realistic; if the boy you are talking to lives 10 hours away, how far will it really go? This is hard to say, harder to hear, and hardest to accept, but there is a big difference between 30 minutes between you guys and hours. If you can both drive and plan to see each other over the weekends, it’s better; but, if you can’t drive and there are several hours between you, it will be hard. Again, not impossible, but hard. You can always Skype and call each other; don’t just rely on texting to keep things going.

Try your best to get together. It may be impossible if you two are really far away, but if it is an hour, honestly try your hardest to see each other at least once a month. If it becomes less often than that, a romantic relationship will be extremely hard to keep going. That being said, there is nothing wrong with saying something similar to:  “I like you, I mean, I really, really, really like you. It’s just that I don’t see how this can work because we will never see each other, and it isn’t fair for either of us to be tied down to each other when there are other people we could be with that we would be able to form a deeper relationship with.” You can still be friends. The friend zone sounds horrible, I know, but if you truly love their personality, you can still enjoy talking to them every day without the stress of being in a long distance relationship.

Above all else, you should work it out together, be open with each other, and try to resolve things before you go your separate ways for school.  You may find out that he only goes to the school in the town over, that you can see each other every weekend, and that dating is really easy. On the other hand, you may find out that you go to school on opposite sides of the state or country and that dating is not a plausible option; but, you have an amazing friend that you can talk to all the time.

I hope you work it out with this boy. If it is meant to be, you will find a way. If not, I’m sure you will find someone new because you’re a Germ girl, and that makes you pretty cool.

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