Dear Depression

Dear Depression,

You suck. You come and go, but you mostly come back to me when I’m stressed. You make me overthink things and make me believe that the entire world won’t miss me and that I have no purpose. A lot of times you make me feel like my dreams will never come to be true and that I will never be happy. I don’t think you are a phase, and I also think that we’ll never break up. I feel like you’ve been with me for so long that I don’t know any different. Sometimes I feel like this is it, that I’m over you and now I’m happy, but even when getting good grades, having lots of friends, and doing things I love, sometimes it’s just not enough and, to be honest, I miss you.

Only one person ever knew about you and how I’ve felt about you all this years. Sadly that person is no longer part of my life. So now, no one, literally no one, knows about you. I think that’s another factor to it all — that no one notices all of the ways you affect me.

But you, you are an unavoidable weight on me that affects everything I do socially, educationally, passionately… everything. I miss you, but it does not mean I cut, it does not mean I’m suicidal, it does not mean that I’m not happy because at times I am, but the majority of the time you are here.

I haven’t really found help. I haven’t really reached out to anyone to talk about you because it’s so hard to talk about you. I want to get better. I want to move on from you. I just think it’s hard because I haven’t ever really tried before.

Our relationship is so difficult for me because I in no way want to tell anyone about it, because for me it’s awkward, because a lot of people perceive me as very happy and I wouldn’t want people constantly asking me if I’m okay because of you. But one of the hardest things is seeing that no one notices that you are there; everyone is oblivious. But I wholeheartedly think that you’ve cheated on me because I think a little part of you lives in everyone that surrounds me. It’s insane because we are all trying to get over you, but no one asks how the other is feeling.

But, hey, we had a long few years together, and I’m going to miss you, and sometimes I will fall back into your trap, but for now I’m delighted to say that I’m breaking up with you.


Nahomy Ortiz




nahomyNahomy Ortiz
Ohio, USA

One thought on “Dear Depression”

  1. Dear Depression,
    99% of the time you make me feel like I’m drowning. You weigh me down and cause me anger. I fight back. Dear depression, Have you always been there? Are you an entity all your own? I surely hope to never know death from you. Dear depression. Goodbye

Leave a Reply