So, not sure how to address this. I don’t know what to call myself. Guess I could just use my name. Or Whatever —

When you were in junior high school, there were those kids who stood at the top of the hill during snack, or recess, or whatever it was called. You thought they looked so much older and figured they knew many more things than you and your friends knew. They didn’t. Remember when you were a senior and it was your turn to stand on the hill? OK, yes, you felt older, but you looked at your friends and thought some of them were such idiots, still. . . especially the boys!

In high school, there was kind of the same thing. You thought the seniors had some special thing because they were older. Really, they were just older. You went to parties with drinking and drugs and were always surprised at which kids were doing what. The biggest shock were the girls doing coke in the bathroom at the prom. Funny and great that you never felt like you missed out by not joining in on the chemical mind-f**k of high school. However, you still wish you had chosen a different dress for that prom. You and your date looked like some cheap wedding cake topper, both dressed in ivory!

You kind of sailed through college. Perhaps you missed out on some things since you didn’t live in the dorms or go to very many parties, but you did pay attention to the supporting cast. You realized that the people around you never seemed older. I mean when you thought every age on school landmark was such a big deal and then it never was. You always thought that 18 would feel so mature. At 18, 20 was something to look forward to. Then it was 22 and 25. When you got there, it still felt young. Boys still acted the same. They all wanted sex and to be the first one you smoked pot with. The reality is, there is no spot on the top of the hill. There are just different hills. Hmmm, sometimes I do wonder about the next milestone age and what I will learn then and where I will be standing, but I have learned to pick out better dresses!



Sara Stern

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