Hey, 8th grade me!
Things kind of suck right now. You’ve been dealing with depression for a while, and you think everyone expects perfection from you or else they’ll hate you forever. I understand where you’re coming from, and, honestly, that’s not the case. You have a great family who loves you and wants to know what’s going on with you (even if it’s not great). You can trust your extended family, too; you just have to give them a chance and ENGAGE with them instead of pouting in the corner hating everyone. Mom won’t hate you for deciding you don’t want to ride horses anymore. If it’s just too much, tell them that instead of insulting them behind their backs to your friends. They WILL find out, and when they do, it’s really going to hurt them and you; because even though you don’t mean it, they don’t know that. Mom and Dad are both great supports for you. Dad won’t always get it; Mom won’t always have all the answers. They both care enough to try, though. The most important thing I can tell you is to love yourself. Don’t try to be someone else because you’ll look back in ten years on who you were and hopefully be proud of yourself. Things won’t always feel great, and I know how much you hate this saying, but: “Things will get better. Nothing is permanent.” I love you.