Lit, Lit Poetry

how to disappear by Charlotte Covey

Photo courtesy of Cassoday Harder
Photo courtesy of Cassoday Harder

i.
basically everything fell apart and that was fine or whatever but now it’s kind of hard to breathe and it’s kind of hard to be a person and maybe some people can live like this and feel alright but i don’t think i can

ii.
the thing is i have been living like this or maybe the point is that i stopped living so long ago that i haven’t been able to remember what it’s like and when i hear you talk my stomach falls out and i’m too flustered to pick it up

iii.
i guess maybe i’m better without it because butterflies spilled everywhere and now they’re kissing my cheeks and tickling my eyelids and i can’t remember the last time i saw something that didn’t look like it wanted to hurt me

iv.
i feel like everything is less okay than it could be and i hope things get better soon but the fact of the matter is they won’t and that is okay but i’m not i’m not i’m not but the fact of the matter is i never was

v.
did that make it okay to let my stomach fall out i’d been living like a stone and then suddenly i was shattered glass and now i’m just something floating with the butterflies and no stomach

vi.
but who am i to complain since the butterflies are here and they always will be thank god for the butterflies and even the moths like the one that looks like a skull and was in that one movie poster i can’t quite remember which

vii.
i’m sorry i can’t remember it’s just so many things are filling my head right now and i can’t quite keep them all straight because now my brain has fallen out too and it’s on the floor and it’s just so gray and i think it’s starting to unravel

viii.
butterflies are no match for this but they’re all i have and their kisses are so foreign to me like an alien’s and oh no they’re flying away no please no you said you’d always stay why would you leave

ix.
so basically everything fell apart and that was fine or whatever but now it’s kind of hard to breathe and it’s kind of hard to be a person and maybe some people can live like this and feel alright but i don’t think i can
x.
can you pick up my brain it’s on the floor and i can’t quite reach it i’m so high up and maybe you could get my stomach too even though it’s not much use to me now that the butterflies are gone

 

 

 

 

Charlotte CoveyCharlotte Covey is from St. Mary’s County, Maryland. She is currently studying Creative Writing and Psychology at Salisbury University. She has poetry published or forthcoming in journals such as The MacGuffin, Night Train, The Summerset Review, and Mochila Review. She is co-editor-in-chief of Milk Journal.

 

 

Cassoday Harder is a twenty-something-year-old photographer inspired by youth, femininity, and summer. View more of her work on Flickr or visit her website.