my anxiety

stays and sits like a well trained dog but it wont play dead
i don’t own it
it owns me yet i own this body
this body of space
it devours
it lives inside of
this crummy motel that is falling apart
that leaks and crumbles
my anxiety has its hands so firm and tight  around my throat

the people that love me tell me to breathe
just breathe

and a chuckle erupts and echoes
through the cavity of my chest

the people that love me ask
why why why

i have no response ever
(mostly)

my anxiety is constant hum
sharp static
beat after beat
a whisper curled around my eardrum
i wear this invisible noose like a necklace