Sen. Marco Rubio and Gov. Rick Scott have begun to use the response of “I’m not a scientist” whenever asked about climate change. Pretty soon, I think, even everyday questions and requests won’t be safe from this kind of cop-out.
Random stranger: “Do you have the time, sir?”
Rubio: “Sorry. I’m not a watch.”
Rick Scott’s wife: “So…are you gonna want pizza tomorrow night or Mexican?”
Scott: “I’m not a psychic, babe. Not a psychic. At all.”
Meanwhile, southern Florida is just a few I’m-not-a-scientists away from being swallowed up by the ocean. And South Miami really really doesn’t like the idea of trying to go to the beach underwater. As a result, their city commission passed a resolution recently that advocates making Florida into a two-state sort of place so that they, the people of the proposed 51st state of “South Florida,” can actually begin going about their lives as if climate change is real and needs to be immediately addressed.
Yes, usually when cities or states cry out for secession, it’s because they feel that they should be allowed to carry AK-47s into Wendy’s or because “Ted Nugent shoulda been president!” But not this time.
The resolution goes on to list some pretty good reasons why the creation of South Florida is a necessity “for the very survival of the entire southern region of the current state of Florida.”
The estimation that “there will be a 3 to 6 foot sea level rise by the end of this century” is listed as well as the fact that the southern reaches of Florida are quite a bit lower in elevation than the northern reaches. Many areas of southern Florida, I learned, lie less than five feet above sea level. The Everglades are included in this as well as the Turkey Point nuclear reactors.
Also mentioned in the resolution is Lake Okeechobee, the second largest freshwater lake in the US and “the source of much of the water supplied to South Florida.” This made me wonder how Rubio and Scott might respond if you asked them, “What will you do to ensure that Lake Okeechobee isn’t compromised?”
Politicians can’t be expected to know everything, but they should probably know a little more than just what the radicals in their party expect them to know or say they know or say they don’t know.
Maybe someday, when most of Florida’s land has been replaced with water (and a few billion linked pontoon boats in the shape of Florida), we can ask Rubio and Scott — and all the others who’ve abused “I’m not a scientist” as a way of evading issues — if the reason they acted like this was good enough.
If they’re still around by then, maybe they’ll answer in unison and with too little regret: “It probably wasn’t good enough, no. But we’re not scientists…. We’re a$$holes.”