Need I say more? Well, I’m going to because recently music has become a form of dependency for me. I’ve previously written about my first love — music — and how it has played a specific, if not essential, role in my life. I’ve always known I’m the Peyton Sawyer of the group, but as I walk through the uncharted territory that is “anxiety,” I find myself using music as a remedy.
Although I was taught to bottle it up, I found that talking about my anxiety really helps for various reasons, two of which really stuck out: The first is knowing that the people I frequently surround myself with are aware that at any moment, for no reason, my chest can feel as though the weight of the world is crushing it, and breathing becomes more of an active exercise rather than an everyday habit. It’s very comforting to know that they won’t panic and tell me to “just breathe.” The second, which was a welcomed surprise, was when one of my friends not only pointed out that she suffered from anxiety but also went ahead and gave me some coping mechanisms. She said that she used various puzzle games on her phone; but, after realizing that these games made me angry rather than calm, I went back to music.
Now, certain songs do exactly the opposite of what I need. For example, “A-Punk” by Vampire Weekend is the first song on my phone, and as a result it automatically blasts through the speakers my phone inhabits at the time. Thus, that song makes me angrier than (and I say this with confidence) anything, ever, in my entire life.
But, alas, about a year ago, I came across an artist whose voice is the lullaby to the little baby demon inside me. AURORA — a twenty-year-old Norwegian singer-songwriter who has recently made her way through multiple late night talk shows — has been the perfect balance of amazing lyricism and soothing melody.
I use AURORA and music in general as my specific preference on how to deal with that warmth that slowly creeps up on me at any given time. I’m not saying to whip out a pair of headphones during a party, but know that you can pull yourself aside and replay songs in your head to distract you from that “oh my god, can someone die from anxiety” feeling.
Finding your specific outlet takes time — and sometimes you may already have it, but you just don’t know. It could be music, puzzles, reading, or all of the above. Don’t be discouraged, and put aside some “me time” to find your remedy.
In the meantime, here is a link to an AURORA song because I’m a total music snob and need to be encouraged about my music choices…