I have no illusions about my lack of concrete dating knowledge. I have not seen or heard it all, nor do I claim to be an expert on the subject. However, in my first two years of the “twenty-something” realm of dating, I’ve picked up on a few consistent themes and have discovered some helpful hints that may be of some value to you all.
I first want to define how I see the definition of the word dating. To me, dating is the act of going on single or multiple dates with the same, or different, people. Dating is that curious span of time between singleness and being in a relationship, and there can be varying degrees of dating, depending on the state of exclusiveness. Some people may deduce this period to be an “undefined relationship,” but I prefer to think of it as the time when you can get to know each other without the impending pressure of a serious commitment.
To be honest, I feel as though I’ve found a nice home in this “dating realm” in my early twenties. Relationships in college can be messy, and not everyone is built for the long distance relationship over summers or after someone graduates. Many people also aren’t ready to settle into a relationship just when their life is starting. Graduating college becomes a turning point for many because now they can go wherever and do whatever they want; couples are not always on the same page, nor are they willing to sacrifice their dreams. (Some are heading in the same direction, and I congratulate you and wish you all the love and happiness!)
With that being said, that in no way limits your college experience to a loveless one. With so many interesting people to meet — all of whom are full of unique stories and life experiences — it’d be a shame not to put yourself out there. Who knows, maybe you will meet that one person who has the same ideas in the future; but, if you don’t, that’s okay, too. There’s no harm in seeing someone casually, and possibly even exclusively, and just enjoying each other’s company.
It’s no surprise that technology has entirely transformed the dating game through online dating sites and smartphone apps. Within minutes you have dozens of people at your fingertips to meet up with for coffee or dinner, or anything really! Never before have we had this kind of access to other people, and with the positives definitely comes the negatives. It’s important to note that whenever you’re meeting someone online, you need to play it smart and not give out personal information. It’s also a good idea to always meet for the first time in a public place. Dating apps can be useful in helping you to put yourself out there, but getting to know someone in person is definitely the best way to establish trust in a relationship.
I personally have met a lot of the people I’ve gone on dates with through dating apps, and I have had a fairly positive experience. (Not everyone you go on a date with will be someone you want to continue hanging out with…but, hey, that’s life!) Short term relationships have resulted from these dates, but, most importantly, I’ve met amazing people that have had an incredulous influence in all aspects of my life. I recognize that I’m still very young and that I have a fair amount of school left in front of me. To be honest, I don’t even know where I’ll be once I graduate from undergrad in another year. But I’m okay with that, and I look forward to all of the people who I may meet along the way.