Dear You,

You are about to start high school, and I can see how lost you feel. You walk into the school and are immediately overcome with mixed feelings of excitement and fear. There is no denying that these next four years are going to be filled with pain, anger, happiness, new adventures, and temptation. You are going to do great with some of the obstacles ahead, but you will also stumble.

You are going to be obsessed with how you look, if you fit in, who your friends are, how well you are doing in your class, but most of all, you are going to think about boys… a lot. And let me tell you now that you are going to make a couple bad choices, except one, and to this day, you are going to be thankful for that.

Your first boyfriend will come in ninth grade following your homecoming, and he is going to feel exciting and new. But he won’t last long because you really didn’t want to have a boyfriend. I am proud of you for not staying with him just so you could have a boy in your life. But you won’t be so lucky the next time a guy comes around.

It is your junior year, and he is a senior. He goes to another school, but you think he is everything you wanted. He is nice, thoughtful, funny, goes to church and youth group with you, and he is romantic. I can’t blame you for falling for him. But something is going to break you.

It all starts when the two of you are lying around on the couch together. And the truth comes out that he is seeing other women… and he is addicted to it. I wish I could tell you that he will stop looking at porn and focus on you and how you make him feel, but he won’t. He is in too deep. And you won’t be able to help him… it’s not your job to anyway. The problem is how much he is going to hurt you by this and how broken you are going to be. You are not going to feel beautiful or worthy for a long time. You will now see every flaw in yourself: your flat chest, your lack of figure, your plain clothes, and how unattractive you think you are.

If I could go back in time and talk to you, there is so much I would say:
He was going through his own personal issues, and it had nothing to do with you. You are beautiful, and you don’t need him to make you feel beautiful. You know you are beautiful because God made you in His image. You are exactly what He envisioned, and that makes you a diamond in the rough. If you feel hurt now, know that you will feel worthwhile again and that you are worth having his full attention on you and only you. And you don’t need a man to make you feel that way, anyway. One day soon, a man is going to come into your life, and he is going to be everything you have prayed for and more! And you will marry him and give him the one gift you never gave away, and it is going to be absolutely perfect. But even then, you need to remember that you can’t put your faith in him because he is human and will fail you… God alone will make you complete.


P.S. To those reading this: People are always looking for an excuse for a guy to look at porn, but the truth is that a man does not HAVE to look at it; he does not HAVE to find “relief” in that junk. In fact, most men know that they are not satisfied by it — and that’s why they keep going back to it… hoping one more time will make them feel “happy” again — but it is temporary and fleeting. You can seek help with your addiction everywhere, but you have to admit that you have a problem first and move forward.

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